I’m white and the guy that I like is black. I think he’s amazing—he’s funny, hot and he treats me nice. My only problem is my parents don’t think I should date people who aren’t the same race. I really like this guy, but I don’t want to go against my parents. Ahhh! Help me, please! -- Torn in Kansas

Hey Torn,
Whether it comes to politics, or who we date, sometimes, we just can’t see eye to eye with our parents. They come from a different generation and have seen and experienced different things. Those experiences have lead them to believe certain stereotypes—which may explain why they don’t want you to get to know certain types of people. But those stereotypes and experiences are their baggage not yours and you need to *kindly* tell them that while you respect their opinions, you need to find out about different types of people for yourself. While they may not love the idea at first, you’re grown up approach in talking with them respectfully and honestly should clear the road for you to befriend people with any kind of background or heritage. Explain to your parents that people with different skin tones have very successful relationships (hello—look at Seal and Heidi Klum!) and that you love and trust the character of this guy you’re going with.

After you’ve told your parents that you’re seeing a guy who has a different skin color than you, it’s time to show them first hand why you think this guy is so amazing. Have your guy meet your parents (even if it’s just for 5 minutes) and let his personality shine. This will help shake their stereotype and see this guy for who he is on the inside—not for what his skin looks like. (Be sure to warn your guy that your parents are a little iffy about interracial dating and make sure he’s up for meeting them. It very well could be that his parents feel the same way—so be prepared to have to win over his parents too!) By getting them all in the same room from time to time, in little increments, your parents will slowly warm up to his character and the idea of you dating him. It may work out that your experiences with people of different races will help erase whatever negative experiences happened in your parents’ past to make them prejudice of people of other backgrounds. Remember—while parents are usually the ones teaching the kids, sometimes, it’s the kids that end up teaching the parents. And while it may be tough waters to navigate, breaking down your parents stereotypes is an awesome lesson you can teach.

Erika Stalder writes books, advice and lifestyle articles to help teens turn down the annoying stuff in life and turn up the awesome. Her newest book (out in May on Zest Books), The Look Book, presents 50 iconic celebrity beauties and shows how any girl can get their signature hair or makeup looks.  She has penned four other books for teens including The Date Book (Zest Books) and In The Driver's Seat: A Girl's Guide To Her First Car (Zest Books). Erika loves hearing directly from teens, so holler at her with thoughts, questions, complaints or whatever at ErikaStalder.com.