The Fall Fling is just around the corner. Bianca's resigned herself to not going, but Beau, the captain of the soccer team, has other ideas. He asks her to the dance, sort of. He's shy, so he gets Zoolander Joey to do it for him. Bianca jumps at the chance, but of course there's one problem: Walter's rule about Bianca not dating until Kat does.
Bianca begs Kat to ask Patrick to the dance, but Kat would rather be eaten alive by howler monkeys. So Bianca takes matters into her own hands at school: She grabs Patrick and pretty much demands he take her soon to be spinster sister to the dance. He surprises them both by agreeing. He says he wants to see what she looks like in a dress.
Post practice in the locker room, Joey's glad to have set up Bianca with someone as cool as Beau except, to Joey's surprise, Beau turns out to be a self centered jerk who calls himself the "Beckham of Padua." That shy routine is just to reel them in, he confides. Uh oh. As Joey walks away disgusted, Beau's cell phone rings. It's a hotel calling to confirm his reservation for Saturday night. Cameron's in the locker room too, and he overhears the whole thing.
So he tries to steer Bianca away. He tells her Beau's not special enough for her first date. Gee, wonder who he thinks IS special enough? But Bianca's still missing the clue bus and tries to set up Cameron with one of the boys from show choir. Still not gay, Bianca.
It's makeover city at the Stratford house. Bianca's taken it upon herself to transform Kat from an ugly duckling to a swan. After lots of bickering, the two are finally ready, and Kat looks amazing. As she descends the staircase to make an impression, Patrick is ... nowhere to be seen. She finds him with Walter, who's trying his best to intimidate him with a horrifying slide show of STDs and birthing clips. Kat grabs Patrick, and they go.
Upstairs, Bianca's so not having the night she planned. Beau's stood her up! Cameron arrives to console her, though. "Hey," he suggests, "why don't we just go together and have fun?" Bianca reluctantly agrees, and they take off.
The gym is jumping. Patrick and Kat hang out on the sidelines, smugly superior in their coolness. A slow song kicks off, and Patrick gets her out onto the dance floor just as Bianca and Cameron arrive. Cameron shows off some ... uh, unusual moves, and Kat and Patrick make a hasty exit when the beat picks up. Cameron gets a conga line going! Both girls are actually having fun, especially Kat. Until Patrick goes to the boys' room and accidentally gets arrested for talking to a stoner when the cops decide to pay a visit. Kat's waiting for him, totally annoyed and totally clueless, as the cops cart him off behind her. He yells, but she can't hear him.
Beau finally shows up. Kids let the air out of his tires, he explains, and he lost his cell so he couldn't call Bianca to tell her. He's really sorry. But wait, there's his familiar ring tone now. Where is it? Why, it's in Cameron's jacket pocket! What?! And he let the air out of Beau's tires too?
Cameron tells Bianca it was just to protect her, but she's totally mad and can't believe he ruined her big night. She tells Cameron to stay out of her life and leaves with Beau. In the car, loverboy tries to salvage the night by suggesting they go to his hotel room, but she's not having that either. So he takes her home.
As a lousy night winds down, the sisters mope in the dark in Kat's bed as sad music plays. Bianca tries to cheer them up, but Kat tells her to just shut up. She listens, for once. Kat thinks it's funny that Walter spends so much time telling them not to get pregnant, but he forgot to tell them all the other ways a boy can screw you. SIGH. Oh, girls.