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S1 E06 You Can't Always Get What You Want

21:50 | 08/11/09 | TV-14 | CC

Bianca's got money problems. Hanging with Chastity isn't cheap, she and fellow cheerleader Dawn agree, especially since Chastity likes to stick them with her lunch bill.

Across the caf, Kat's working furiously on her "Day that changed my life" paper for Ms. Sommers's class. Mandella's already got hers done. She asks Kat to read it, afraid it totally sucks. Kat takes it but keeps going on about her paper. The topic? The day she became a feminist.

A few days later, a newly engaged and very high on life Ms. Sommers returns the papers. Everyone got an A. Kat's pissed at the grade inflation, but Sommers doesn't change her mind, so Kat takes the issue to Ms. Tharp, the guidance counselor. Nice!

At dinner, Walter's proud of Kat for sticking up for what's right. But before he can say much, Bianca pops in to ask for an allowance advance or a credit card. She's not picky. Walter tells her no and suggests she budget better or get a job. Exasperated, Bianca tells him he just doesn't get California.

Between classes the next day, she and Dawn critique the latest episode of "The Hills." They agree it was a total snoozefest, and their lives are way more interesting than Audrina's. Hey, wait ... dollar signs flash and lightbulbs go off over their heads.

Bianca gets Cameron to say he'll help set up a website and payment system for her new Internet show, Cameron watches her flit away, and Patrick, who was hanging nearby, just has to say something to the clueless wonder. He tells Cameron to man up and show Bianca he's an alpha dog, someone who can protect her. Cameron likes the idea, but Patrick's pretty sure it's hopeless.

When Ms. Sommers returns the re graded papers, Mandella still has an A, but guess what? Kat's been demoted to a B . Now she's even more outraged.

In Bianca's bedroom, she and Dawn are premiering their first live webisode. They spend a little time talking about their day, but when Bianca asks Dawn to scratch her back, the site traffic jumps. That's thanks to Michael, who's texting everyone he knows as he and Cameron watch the girls online.

Next day, Kat corners Ms. Sommers. She tries to kiss butt but totally fails. Ms. Sommers stands by the B . She tells Kat her paper was predictable, preachy, and shallow. Standing in the doorway, Mandella hears them. She especially hears Kat call Mandella's paper topic stupid. Maybe you should listen to what Sommers is telling you, Kat.

Over a working lunch, Bianca and Dawn are reviewing what brought in the most viewers. So far, their biggest success has been scratching each other's backs. As they're pitching ideas, a creepy nerd comes by and leers at them. It dawns on them that this is their fanbase. Ewww.

Kat's got a petition against unfair grading. No one's feeling too sympathetic though, especially Mandella, who asks Kat if she even read her paper. Kat admits she didn't (ouch) and wonders if Ms. Sommers may have been on to something. She asks Walter if she's self centered. Walter gives it to her straight: Yes. Kat can't believe it, but dad cites several examples. Kat gets a clue ... finally.

Upstairs, Bianca and Dawn start their next episode facing each other on the bed. As they lean in closer and closer, trying to get past the giggles and actually kiss, their viewer count goes bananas. Just as they finally lip lock, Walter walks in and puts an end to their little enterprise. He even removes Bianca's bedroom door, reminding her that anything she posts online can be seen by anyone, including her teachers, future college admissions officers, and creeps she doesn't know..

Kat approaches Ms. Sommers again. She's obviously wary, but Kat has something for her. She rewrote her paper and this time it's about having to buy tampons with her dad. She doesn't want a new grade; she just wanted to prove she could do it. Kat also apologizes to Mandella. She's actually read her paper and was moved to tears by M's sad story.

Backfire in Bianca land: Chastity wants to know why she wasn't invited onto the show. Bianca's confused, but she'll take any cool points she can get. Except the show's over, thanks to dad. But Dirk the creep has other ideas. He corners Bianca and says they should go topless in the next episode. Just as things are getting ugly, Cameron steps in to try to protect her. Bianca ends up saving him by whacking Dirk on the head with her notebook. Then she hugs Cameron, calls him sweet, and walks off. Patrick is amused/disgusted by the sissy performance ... but Cameron's just glad he got a hug.

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